King Kong
i think thats the biggest damn monkey i've ever seen in my life..he is HUGE! and the girl looks absolutely tiny compared to him..and its a long show! like longer than titanic long and most of it is how they found King Kong..*warning spoiler ahead*
ok, the good stuff is when they got to the mysterious not-found-on-the-map Skull Island. They ship was sorta moored on the rocks and they all sent an advance party to check it out..ok, its namely Jack Black, the girl and a few others. They came to some freaky place with lots of stone carvings and what apparently were tombs. skeletons littered the area(eew) and there were fish that were speared on sticks(and so much for a deserted island! they look fresh enough). And through the mess of darkness, stone and skeletons..a little native girl appears(spooky). She is very dark with very messy hair that covers her face. Jack Black then approaches closely to give her some chocolate and then suddenly, she bites his hand and all hell breaks loose!
there are natives everywhere and they all jump out and threaten the advance party. And sadly, some of the advance members were murdered, like getting speared and getting whacked on the head with a club studded with nails..it seemed the whole party would be cruelly executed but suddenly, the captain of the ship and some sailors storm the area and shoot the native executior and rescue all of them. But there was this old native women that kepy sreeching at the girl and telling her kong...(foreshadowing ok! literary technique)
Natives stormed the marooned ship that night and kidnapped the girl to be sacrificed to the giant ape: KING KONG! and that is the first time we see him. He grabbed the girl and raced off into the jungle. well when the guys found out that she was kidnapped, they all went to rescue her and the ship captain gave them 24 hours to get her back, or they will set sail back home..
..the adventures that the rescue party had were crazy! they saw dinosaurs! unreal! and some of them were either crushed, eaten or both..eeww..and then there was this part. a whole herd of brachiosaurus(big ones with long necks) were running away from raptors and the whole rescue party was caught in the middle so they were trying to run away too and when they reached a sharp bend and some of them were like oh shit and started flapping cause they almost fell off the edge as the bend was so sharp. and the next thing you know, a dinosaur came from behind and nudges him off the cliff! i was laughing my ass off! hahaha! so loser!!
As expected, someone got eaten(its kinda norm that at least one person dies in every disaster they meet). Well in the meantime, King Kong didn't kill the girl(wah he fell in love ley..wah liew). The girl used to work in a theatre so she started prancing around while juggling stones and Kong(lets call him Kong) was so impressed that he stopped being angry! And he then he discovered how amusing it is to keep pushing the girl down when she stands( well how i know..monkeys are weird). After a while, it gets quite sian..and then Kong sorta gives up..and then the horrific happens..the girl startsd to sneak away noooo....and that is where she meets a huge dinosaur! So guess what, she ran into some cave(its more like a centipede's nest and the y have huge centipedes inside that crawl on her back and face..blearghh..)
..and would you know it..she meets Mr T-REX when she runs out of the cave screaming! I know what you're thinking..what the heck are dinosaurs doing inside this show?! And well to get the act short, t-rex(ok, there are 3 of them want to eat the girl) and guess who comes to the rescue but KING KONG wrrrarwr and the most bullshit thing was that he took on all 3 Rexes together and killed them all! like..so bullshit! plus, it looked more like a WWF wrestling match la(but you know, i gota admit its the best scene in the entire movie)..of course Kong gets injured but the injury ain't that serious. And suddenly, the girl falls for him too..(wah..)..the rescue party encounter the strange environment with the huge mosquitos(yuck) and then..they meet KING KONG himself! well, they meet him on some wooden log and he shakes a few of them down the log into the valley below(splat!) and then he throws the entire log into the valley with the rest of the rescue party on it...
...and then the most disgusting scene happens
*warning* those with a weak disposition don't read any further
they encounter huge bugs(first were grasshopper like creatures) and then spiders(waves of them!) and then all sorts of cockroaches and bugs and scorpions. But the most disgusting thing was inside the swamp. You see, they sorta landed in a marsh and there were bulbous things like huge grey bubbles sticking out. Well, i didn't think much about it until they turned..and they were actually gigantic leeches with huge suction cups! and inside the openings, a huge pink tube comes out(i tink thats the sucker itself with rows of pointed teeth)..and well, one guy gets eaten by these gigantic leeches..damn disgusting! what a horrific mess..
well to cut the long story short, they were rescued by the ship's captain who came to save them and then the rescued the girl and captured Kong(with bottles of chloroform..a powerful anesthetic) and brought him back to the Big Apple(New York) and parades him around as the Eight-wonder of the world! and well, Kong is sad..because the girl he loves is nowhere to be seen and he is mocked and ridiculed..until he can't take it anymore and breaks free and goes on a mad rampage throughout the city
thank goodness he met the girl he loved along the way and then he takes he to the park where the mood is festive and they have a nice reunion. And thats where he discovers ice-skating. He was sliding around on his fat hairy ass on the Park Pond..well, all was peaceful until the army came into the picture and started blasting away at Kong causing him to flee up the Empire State Building(the most famous scene)..
..and there he goes around swatting American fighter aircraft and there he dies( guess he bit too many bullets haha) and falls off the building. Well, the girl is devastated but meets the guy that had been chasing her since Skull Island and they hug..meanwhile, her pet monkey lies on the main road surrounded by truck-loads of reporters..
END
posted by Cave II @ 7:46 AM
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