life is abstract

The Terrors of Outfield

Terror No.1: What ranks as top on most NSF's lists on going outfield. The deadly mosquitos. They are devastating buggers, silent assassins that swoop in on you unexpected and really make your life a living hell. Plus overtime, they have developed an immunity against most insellect repellents so no matter how many mosquito coils you light; the place looks like an incense temple than a campsite, they still strike. And with deadly precision. And when you're lying there, cold, alone and defenceless. And in the middle of the night. The deadly whine of their wings has sent many an NSF screaming away and bitching loudly about how girls are so lucky and how poor guys have to endure such tortures. They also seem to think that donating blood to NKF would be more fruitful. I don't disagree.

Terror No. 2: Nature itself. Mother nature can be a real pain. Be it blistering hot sun. Or pouring rain. It just results in getting dirty. And sick. Period. Not to mention that mud (not the kind that you gladly splatter over your faces ladies) is perhaps the most demoralising thing ever. Nothing beats seeing all your equipment and uniform covered in brown gunk. Not to mention your face too. And they aren't exactly good for your skin.

Terror No.3: Wild Boar. Ask any army MAN around. Clerks that push pencils or act as POSTMANS don't count. They will gladly relate to you countless stories of close encounters with the walking bah kwa. Their magnificent tusks seem to strike fear in even the most stoic of hearts. Their incredulous sizes seem greatly exaggerated when we describe. Yet, these are true. The smaller versions of these bahkwa can be found near Perion in Victoria Island. These monsters in Singapore are huge. And deadly. Deadly bah kwa.

Terror No.4: The tekan. Means getting whacked. Pumped. Getting dirty. It means pain and suffering at the hands of your merciless commanders. Thank God i don't have to go through the shit again.

Terror No.5: This is a new one. I just had a close encounter. The monkey. Gosh. Mischief. Purely mischievious. That deceitful lil' booger stole our food. And came back for more! Bloody rat. This is as bad as the bah kwa. At least the bah kwa is dumb. But this monster is smart. Too smart for its good. DON'T FEED THE MONKEYS!

posted by Cave II @ 9:38 AM