life is abstract

A Big Step Into Overseas

*Continuation*

As I so blatantly stated: I was half-dead. Due to lack of sleep. The insanely good comedies that I spent my entire flight watching didn't help either. We entered the immigration counters at Sea-Tac and they are as strict as ever. No monkey business. Tarewowism is as real a thing as the magnum bullets in their pistols. No one mentions Osama. Ever. Anyway, we saw a very very very cute little baby girl who kept giggling and bubbling to herself while resting on her father's shoulders. I was dumbstruck in awe at once. She is really the cutest thing I have ever seen this side of the world. Definitely beats Butterscotch and Cassie hands down. Sorry dears. (They are my guitars btw). Yet when i saw the parents, my awe turned to shock. The girl looked like an Asian girl and a very cute one at that. The parents were ang-more! Imagine that! Immediately I had nagging doubts on how genuine were the parents! Maybe they were kidnappers! Or perhaps owners of some baby factory somewhere in Tokyo. I had to save her! I was going to! Until I saw the bigass magnum sitting in the holster of a humongous Police Officer. My dreams and visions of heroes of old such as Achilles, Hector and Napoleon faded immediately. I don't want to be a dead hero.


Ok, anyway, after the immigration, we moved on into the security screening section. Now, they have a new rule that states you can't carry liquids or gels more than 100ml and your shoes must be screened separately. But behind me, I had the fortunate experience of standing in line in front of 4 typical American bimbos. They matched encyclopedia descriptions perfectly; big ass, big boobs, and really dumb. I are really sorry for eavesdropping but I couldn't resist. I wanted to see if they were better than Singaporean bimbos and they actually are. They were discussing how to lose your virginity in Vegas! Who the hell loses virginity in Vegas! What about gambling! Or at least doing an a la Ocean's 13! They were also wondering whether this part of the States required and anal probe! Well, I'm sure tewowism has many daft ideas but this has got to be tops! Imagine smuggling an assault rifle up your ass and it accidentally goes off! Coroner's Report: Death due to victim accidentally shooting himself in the ass! How outrageous indeed! Furthermore, I am very very sure the elderly old cheekopek of a Japanese man was eavesdropping as well because he literally walked straight into a garbage bin when it was his turn to be screened! That dirty old man couldn't resist at all! Imagine that! Anal probes must excite him a lot. Once clear, we took their skytrain to spend the 6 hours transit time in Sea-Tac slacking.

Our very first stop was Burger King! The Texas steakhouse sandwich with mouthwatering onions, melted cheddar, crisp juicy lettuce was a delight. And the french fries came in a cool container called a frypod! Apple must be taking over the world after all! Now, I know that locals always make fun or chinese people there in the States. They basically believe we ran away from China and eat noodles and practice kung-fu. Its all true. But i was determined to make a lasting impression on the cashier at the BK counter. Without looking at the lady at all, I said in my most eloquentest and most pronunciatious Engrish: 'Could I have a Texas Steakhouse Sandwich please. As well as a Bacon and Cheese burger. And could you please upgrade it to KING SIZE.' King is $1 more and it is huge. Large is a tad smaller than King at 50cents.Anyway, what she said next literally brought me crash landing down to solid Earth. '

She: 'You want cock!'
Me:*losing all bloody sense of pronunciatious whatsoever. I gave the classic Singaporean reply.'HAR?!?!'
She: You want cork?
Me: *Looking down slightly*, Cork?!
She: Yah Cork!
Me: Ohhh...you mean COKE! Do i want my drink to be coke! Yes i would like that thank you!
She: Thats what i said. Cork!

Some thanks, my first attempting at making a good impression failed miserably. Damn cashier's fault. Then i realised, her name was Yelena and she was Russian. So they employed Russians in BK now ah! That would explain things. Why didn't she ask if i wanted bloody VODKA!

We tore into the good food and then I saw another fantastic thing. A group of people were literally having a picnic in BK! They didn't buy anything at all! They just plonked their asses down on the seats next to us, whipped open their bags and passed out slices of bread, crackers, butter spreads, jam, and bottles of water. How cool is that! Of all the nerve! You can actually do that in the States! After the meal, we walked down to the departure gate and fell asleep on the plush black leather seats. I had a nice mint mocha ice blended from Starbucks and it was nice.

We finally boarded Horizon Air to Edmonton Airport; Alberta Canada where we were served by two old cheerfuly grannies who gave free pretzels. Arriving at Edmonton...*damn* continue another time. Have to go back to camp..cheerios for now!

posted by Cave II @ 7:08 AM